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So much to grieve

Cover of Notes on Grief
A review of Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

The previously unimaginable grief and loss that we face today differs from person to person but collectively weighs on all of us. Critically acclaimed, bestselling author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie shares her experience losing her father in the summer of 2020 and the layers of difficulties of losing a loved one during COVID times. This book expands on a piece originally published in The New Yorker and contains as much grief, sadness, confusion and understanding as 67 pages can hold. Routine medical appointments, hospital stays, visits that require travel, and ultimately, the processes and rituals that surround death are complicated by COVID-compliance and can hinder and alter grieving in unexpected ways.

Chimamanda and her siblings had a lockdown ritual of Sunday Zoom calls with their Nigerian father. Connecting from England, the United States, Lagos and Abba in Southeastern Nigeria, the family Zoomed on June 7th. On June 10th, James Nwoye Adichie was gone. He was 88 years old and had an appointment with a kidney specialist the next day, had discussed test results with one of his daughters who was a doctor, read the newspaper, lived life normally. As the author comes to understand that her father has died and that being together with family is impossible, funeral arrangements will be delayed due to airport closures, and local restrictions further complicate the situation, her grieving process is fractured.  

Those of us who have lost loved ones for whatever reason over the last two years, lost daily routines, experiences, and living life the way we used to will find much to absorb in Adichie's words.  

Feb 28, 2022